Soyvil War

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Soyvil War
Part of The Sweden-Norway Wars
Date29 April 2021 - 16 May 2021
Location, /qa/
Result Peace agreement

The Swedes

Wholesome Soyjak Posters

Deformed Soyjak Posters

Colorjak Posters

The Norwegians

File:Jihad flag.svg Jihadis

Casualties and losses
A bunch of 'log wipes and bans

The Soyvil War was a conflict between several groups of posters on the /soy/ board of that took place on April 29 2021.

The Tragic Prelude[edit | edit source]

Before the war, /soy/ was in a state of unrest. Tensions were high, and the beginnings of a schism showed itself most acutely when Deformed Soyjak was posted, sharply dividing the userbase. A lesser battle was fought over the plot of the Impjak Adventure, and although this conflict is unrelated to the Soyvil War, it demonstrated's capacity for war and division. Curiously, the official Impjak Adventure thread remained untouched during the Soyvil War. As Impjak Adventure's protagonist is an Impish Soyak Ears, the popular story could have been a strategic advantage for those in favor of Wholesome/Deformed/Swedish posting. The likely explanation is that Impjak Adventure is considered sacred, undeserving of being touched by this war.

Timeline[edit | edit source]

The Soyvil War began when a user on reacted negatively to a thread whose attached image was a warped Wholesome Soyjak, telling the OP to cease posting that 'jak.[1] This initial reply received much attention due to its impressive digits, 77777. A faction immediately appeared, enthusiastically joining in the criticism of Wholesome Soyjaks. This faction came to be known as the Norwegians, due to their later emerging vitriolic hatred of anything Swedish.

Soon, an opposing faction emerged. This opposition posted Deformed Soyjak, a controversial variant of Wholesome Soyjak that is notorious for being maligned by certain users. The consequential outrage at Deformed Soyjak shattered the brittle peace, causing all-out war to break out. At some point, Swedish 'jaks were also implicated in the conflict, seeming to be placed on the side of Wholesome and Deformed Soyjak posters, likely due to its evolutionary relation to Wholesome Soyjak. Accordingly, this faction came to be known as the Swedish.

While Wholesome Soyjak posters and Deformed Soyjak posters banded together,[2] some Swedish soyjak posters remained reluctant to join the conflict. [3]

During the war's fevered crescendo, many threads were created, the majority of which featuring Deformed Soyjak images. These threads invariably received extremely enraged replies from the Norwegians. Most of these replies comprised of all-caps ranting and death threats, with at least one poster using explicit gore images taken from terrorist execution media. [4]

While the Norwegians maintained a strong defense, unfailingly replying to every Swedish thread, their offense was comparatively weak. As they fervently replied to each new Swedish thread, the catalog was becoming full of Swedish images. As the Norwegians had no emblem or symbol to post, they rapidly lost ground in new thread creation, some even resorting to posting Pepes and abandoning soyjaks altogether. Late in the conflict, the Norwegian faction made many threads featuring a copypasta accompanied by images of Chads in an attempt to take back the catalog. [5] The copypasta was written as follows:

I'm sick of swedish niggers, i've just converted to Islam, praises to Allah (SWT), and I realised my muslim brothers are already preparing for war against the sw*des. I'm ready for combat. I will roll into Sweden with the Mujaheddin (man who are on their deen), we will link up with all the AKHIS, who are Pakistani, Afghani, Syrian, Iranian, Palestinian, Turkish, Somali, you name it. All the Sunnis and Shias will link up and we will behead all sw*dish "men" and marry your women and create a new race of akhis, and establish a calphiate (not a jewish one though like ISIS was, google: Simon Elliot ISIS).

The war ended when apparently neutral Coalposter[s], seemingly unaligned with either side of the conflict, began spamming /soy/ with coal threads. While the coal threads appeared neutral, being indistinguishable from pre-war coal threads, some have theorized that they were allied with the Norwegian side and that the threads were an effort to clear the catalog of Deformed Soyjaks. [6] As the most active, warring threads were buried beneath the coal, posters lost interest and the war fizzled out.[7]

Shortly after, the Oslo Poop Treaty was signed.

Impjak Adventure Spin-Off[edit | edit source]

This is a non-canon, pro-Deformed short story featuring Impjak, the protagonist of the popular Impjak Adventure.[8] The story was made during active warfare. It is unknown if it was made by one of the official Impjak Adventure storytellers.

Ongoing conflict[edit | edit source]

Despite the war's most brutal battle being over, wholesome 'jaks, deformed 'jaks, and Descriptive Filenames are still met with harsh opprobrium from some users (likely Norwegian veterans of the Soyvil War). These users and others often communicate their opinions in acronyms, the most common of which are documented here.

  • DFNC (Descriptive FileName Chad) Supportive term for someone who uses descriptive filenames (see Descriptive Filenames#Controversy)
  • DFNT (Descriptive FileName Tranny or Descriptive FileName Triumph) - Pejorative or (rarely) supportive term for someone who uses descriptive filenames (see Descriptive Filenames#Controversy)
  • NAS (Not A Soyjak) - Used to deny that a soyjak variant is actually a soyjak, usually because of its lack of traditionally soyjak-related characteristics
  • ST (Seethe Thread) Used to accuse OP of seething, often as a retaliation against getting soy quoted [9]
  • SST (Swedish ShiTter) Pejorative term for someone who posts Swedish Wins/Swedish Fails [10]

On 16 May 2021, weeks after the Norwegians' triumphant 77777 get, the Swedish achieved equally impressive digits, 88888, in a thread featuring an image of Jacobson, a common deformed soyjak variant. [11] Both threads no longer exist on due to being buried by numerous waves of niggercoal posts.

Gallery[edit | edit source]

Citations[edit | edit source]