The Netherlands

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Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau using blackface to celebrate the Dutch tradition "Zwarte Piet" around Christmas. The Dutch people in the Netherlands weirdly like this man.

This page is iron. It could benefit from further development

This page might be biased
Norwegians may vandalise this page gem from time to time.

The Netherlands are a mysterious land known whose existence is known by only the smartest of people. It is rumored to be below the Ridge, where no one but explorers have ever been.

'Zellig and Massa also come from there.

Like Cucknada, the country is known to be the least racist country in the world, yet, like Canadeh, are known for using and accepting blackface.

Relations with the soy community and others[edit | edit source]

The Dutch first settled on /co/,[1] where they brought their show with them. To the posters there, they seemed to be annoying spammers of a foreign cartoon they couldn't understand, and so, the community of Dutch there remained isolated...

Until a brave autist known as "daily 'zellig spammer" adventured out to /qa/, a place that he'd heard great tales from, and started to make daily threads about his cultural heritage. At first, all 'jakkers on /qa/ found him to be annoying, but after a while, Ongezellig fans started making 'zellig jaks in an attempt to pass as soyteens.

But nothing in the world remains peaceful. When The November 3rd Massacre happened, every thread was lost and their brave hero had to find a new home.

The Netherlands DO LOOK LIKE THAT even though they don't look like that, this is not misinformation BECAUSE I SAY SO!

Along with many others in the soy community, he went on /bant/ and started making the daily threads there. He's come to visit the 'arty from time to time too, but the future knows no bounds. What will this attention whore do next? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF DRAGON SOY M(eds)!

History Of The Niggerlands[edit | edit source]

The 'lands just cannot stay still; the geography of the lowlands are constantly changing and freezing and shit.[2]The soyence says the first actual human (Homo sapiens) touched grass in the 'lands 'bout 37,000 years ago (not true because we all know the earth was made in 4004 B.B.C.) The humans dwelling in the 'lands lived a hunter-gatherer lifestyle. After 5600 B.B.C. a group known as the "swifter™/bant/ culture", who were riverpilled fisherchuds, populated the region. The soyence says that the linear pottery culture (central European farmers) came not too soon after (5000-4000 B.B.C.) and the swifter™cels got BTFO and replaced by agricucks(graincels)/animal husbanders. The funnel-beaker culture started to come in to at around 4000-3000 B.B.C. and built important stone shit; there was also another group called the "Vlaardingens" but they were still hunter-gatherers and didn't contribute much to the history of the early 'lands. From 3000-2000 B.B.C. the 'Corded Ware pastorals replaced the Funnel Beakers and used the wheel by the 2400s B.B.C. (something certain groups of people haven't invented to this day.) Bell Beakcels were also involved but never did anything noteworthy.

The 'Corded Ware chads also traded with other areas in Europe for copper, as copper does not exist in the 'lands. Around 2000-800 B.B.C. cultures and shit changed and people started trading with farther away places. They also made really shitty pottery. Around 800-58 B.B.C. The iron age made Nethercels truly privileged yt pepo. Germanic and Celtic groups eventually closed in on the 'lands with the Rhine river acting as a barrier between the two. On the German side the Saxons and Frisians emerged; on the Celtic side the Eburones and Menapii emerged. From 57 B.B.C-410 A.D. the Celtcels got BTFO by the Romanbrads while the Romanbrads got BTFO by the Germanoid tribes across the Rhine. They were each other's biggest rivals during that time.

In the early middle ages, there was a mass migration of Germans into the 'lands who then moved to England (Anglo-Saxons). The Frank BVLL CLOVIS I bodied every other Frankish kingdom as well as parts of the modern day 'lands. The 'lands became Christian again under Clovis's rule. In the early eighth century the Frisians got BTFO by the franks. In 843, the Frankish Empire got nuked and fractured into three kingdoms. The 'lands, of course, got placed in the absolute worst Frankish kingdom (Middle Francia) in lieu of Flanders, which got to be in West Francia. As one would expect, Middle Francia and its successor states were endlessly partitioned and Holland became a part of Lotharingia. The 'lands were also raided by viKANGZ.

Lotharingia became a duchy within East Francia (subsequently Holy Roman Empire) in 925. There were constant civil wars between feuding provinces. The last of independent Frisia was conquered by the Germanoids in 1498. In around 1200 E.D. the Dutch began to farm and drain rivers with groups of people called a "dike count". The low countries (Burgundy) eventually got united and then got BTFO by the (((Habsbergs))) and their superior dynasty-building practices, despite France's claim to the Burgundian throne. But, since the spanish king Phillip II (unlike his predecessor Charles V, who was respected by the Dutch) was so mean, seven provinces waged a hecking holy war against the Spaniards and WON after 81 YEARS (SpainGODs kept Flanders thoughbeit).

After independence, the Dutch had a golden age and created an empire that traded slaves (keyed and ypipopilled). In 1602 the Dutch gave the United East India Company a monopoly to trade with Asia. Eventually it became ridiculously corrupt was and absorbed by the Dutch government and rebranded. The 'lands didn't colonize Africa thoughever[3]. After that, the Dutch flew too close to the sun and waged war with the British and French several times and even won sometimes, but after 1730, IT WAS OVER for the 'lands; they reached their growth potential and then got surpassed by larger countries such as France and Britain in terms of economy, population, trade, wholesome banker jews, culture, etc. The 'lands got BTFO in the war of Austrian succession by the French and then again by the English leaving the 'lands in total shambles. The French [NAPOLEON.] then occupied the 'lands until 1813 and there was a revolution in the 'lands against local governments but not the Stadtholder. Belgium broke away and the 'lands tried to stop it but failed and never tried again.

Afterwards, the 'lands becomes irrelevant in history. In the late 1800's the 'lands got hecking wholesome artists that restored their culture. During WW1, they didn't do shit, and in WW2, they got BTFO. After the war the 'lands seethed so hard they wanted to deport all German citizens and put them them in concentration camps[4]. They lost their colonies without much of a fight. After a while they actually became a wealthy niggerloving country, nowadays having even transhearted a couple of their blackest, darkest niggerboys.

Dutch Language![edit | edit source]

Dutch Words[edit | edit source]

Untranslatable. Means "pleasantly sociable and friendly".
Cancer. The Dutch commonly use it as a bad word, like "fuck".
Typhus. See "Kanker".
"Of course!", "naturally!". May be shortened to "tuurlijk".

Dutch Phrases[edit | edit source]

The Dutch language is closely related to English thanks to their shared West Germanic roots. This has led to some Dutch phrases to become targets of derision, due to it lying in the uncanny valley for some English speakers. Certain phrases have also come to notoriety due to the release of camrips of shitty movies with Dutch subtitles.

Ik ook
Me too. Sounds like something a monkey would say.
Weet ik
I know. Originally from a scene where James Bond dies in a camrip of the 007 film No Time to Die.[5] It is also attributed to the character M.O.D.O.K. from the MCU film Quantumania where the subtitle was photoshopped into a screenshot of a camrip of the film.[6]
We gaan
We're going. Taken from the flight transcripts related to the Tenerife airport disaster where the pilot responsible for the crash disregarded instructions from the air traffic controller. Had a small resurgence during the Titan submersible incident when parallels were drawn between the pilot and the CEO of Oceangate.
Kal-El, zoon van Krypton
Kal-El, son of Krypton. Taken from a scene of a camrip of the DCEU film The Flash which contained terrible CGI.
Hitler dood wat nou?
Hitler dead what now? Taken from a South African newspaper reporting Hitler's death. The original article is actually in Afrikaans but Afrikaans is so similar to Dutch it doesn't matter[[It just doesn't, ok?]].

Citations[edit | edit source]