Soy Speak

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This page is a gem.

Soy Speak
Pronunciationsɔɪ spiːk
EthnicityThe Soy Community
Speakers⪆5,000 (estimate)
Numeral System0-9 including Ϫ
Official Status
Sign LanguageReal life soyduels (only proposed)

Soy Speak ('oy 'peak), also known as Jakspeak, is a constructed international auxiliary language spoken mainly on The Party and formerly on /qa/. It originally developed out of a set of codes created by the Patient 5202 (formerly known as Dr. Soyowicz) to be used by patients of the Mental Asylum to communicate in secret, whereupon it played a key role in the espionage behind the Great Asylum Insurrection of 2020. It has since evolved to become the native language of many jakkers.

Grammar[edit | edit source]

A thread using soy speak.

Jakspeak is widely regarded as a massively complex language which takes years to learn; this reputation is widely due to the language's unique grammatical rules that make it unlike any other language.

Mutation[edit | edit source]

Mutation ('utation) in linguistics is the modication of a word's spelling and/or pronunciation based upon preceding and/or proceeding words, phrases and syllables (typically, though not necessarily, of the first consonant of a word.) Very few languages exhibit mutation, mostly Celtic languages such as Welsh and Irish, and none to the degree of 'Jakspeak. Some have hypothesised mutation may be the result of improper apostrophisation ('postrophisation)- though linguists and 'jakspeakologists remain divided on this issue. For example some dialects of Soyspeak refer to the party as "the sharty", with the p consonant mutating to the š (sh) consonant.

Apostrophisation[edit | edit source]

Apostrophisation ('postrophisation), also known as contraction ('traction) is a core element of Jakspeakian grammar. Broadly speaking, it refers to the dropping of the first syllable from a word and its replacement by an apostrophe. However, this process is incredibly complex due to its patchwork of exceptions and counter-exceptions. Words that are less than three characters long such as "I", "do", and "a" are never apostrophised for the sake of readability. Additionally, when a word could be confused for another after apostrophisation, the standard operation is to leave the word entirely intact. The exact practice for each word depends on the dialect and the speaker.

English Standard Jakspeakian Example of improper grammar
To my house we shall go 'o my 'ouse we 'hall go 'o 'y 'ouse 'e 'hall 'o
I am going to kill you I am 'oing 'o 'ill you ' a' 'oing to 'ill 'ou

A small handful of function words do not follow the above rule and can only be learned through rote memorisation, including:

  • To, which becomes 'o (but note that do does not become 'o, it simply stays as do)
  • Be, which becomes 'e (but note that me does not become 'e, it simply stays as me).

Proper nouns[edit | edit source]

In Soyspeak, proper nouns usually go through multiple rounds of apostrophisation, corrosponding to how often they are discussed. For example, the term Stonetoss was first contracted to 'tonetoss and then to 'toss and finally to 'ss. This practice emerged in order to further throw the govt off the trail.

Acronymisation[edit | edit source]

A longer list of acronyms can be found here

Acronymisation ('cronymisation) is the lexical process by which phrases are shortened into a single word by combining the initial letter of all component words. Soyspeak is the only language which can acronymise every multi-word phrase, as non-conventional acronyms are always introduced with their meanings in brackets until the acronym catches on and passes into the pantheon of universally understood 'nyms, which includes:

  • NAS (not a soyjak)
  • IAS (is a soyjak)
  • YWNBAW (you will never be a woman)
  • HWABAG (he will always be a gem; in reference to Cobson)
  • HWNBAG (he will never be a gem; in reference to Cobson)
  • HWABASFPOSNLAYSKY (He will always be a stupid fucking piece of shit nobody likes and you should kill yourself; in reference to Cobson)who said this? me.
  • NYPA (not your personal army)
  • YPA (your personal army)
  • tlp (tiny lemon pecker)

Though[edit | edit source]

Main article: Though

Though is a non-comparable adverb used at the end of every sentence as a conjunctive, similar to the English word however; as an intesifier, similar to the English word indeed; and generally as a word to mark the end of a sentence, similar to the interlingual full-stop or (more loosely) to the Japanese word desu.

The Thoem, an original Jakspeakian work of literature, is about the word though. It has been described by scholars as "an ode to linguistics".

Forms "tho", "thou", "doe", "dough" and synonyms "however", "albeit", "moreover", "thoughever", "howeverbeit", etc are used in the same manner.

Modern bastardizations of though include "doebeioh" and "dubai;" if encountered, you should remind the 'teen in question to take their meds, as these mutations of though border on nonsense.


History[edit | edit source]

The soldiers on Omaha beach died to use though at the end of their sentences. From there, the practice became fashionable after an anonymous Mexican poster on 4chan began quoting every instance of "though" on /int/ and /qa/ with thoughjaks. He is sometimes erroneously referred to as the Thougher; however, "thougher" is an archaic term used to describe people who say though and does not apply to the Mexican.

Logical consequence[edit | edit source]

Soy Speak only has two ways to express the relationship between logical statements: therefore (∴)[1], and even though (∧)[2]. They are opposites of each other and are used in the following way:

  • >Thing bad even though reason why it's not.
  • >Fact about thing therefore consequence about fact.

The supremacy of these constructs probably had origin in a type of soyquoting where therefore was used to mock the reasoning of the person in the image. It's of note that the logical consequence is often added by the person who soyquotes without any delimiter to end the quote, thus it's not "true" quote in the strict sense. The lack of delimiter is probably a stylistic choice because it would give away the location of the punchline. The therefore and even though are the implicit delimiters, which can prove confusing to newbies to soy speak.[3] The even though form is often the most opinionated as it gives space for a whole new statement.

Vocabulary[edit | edit source]

More vocabulary: Slang

One Chad begins translating the Bible into soy speak.

There is a rich history of original phrase creation within Soy Speak. The New Practical Soyanese Reader Vol. 2 catalogues over three hundred such unique words which do not have an appriopriate rendering into other languages, including:

Affixation[edit | edit source]

The bulk of Jakspeaker vocabulary derives from English stems combined with the morpheme soy or the morpheme jak. This can either involve putting one of these morphemes at the beginning, end, or middle of another word.

Affix Example Notes
Prefix Soyspeak prefix-stem
Prefixoid Sommunity[no one says this] prefixoid-stem
Suffix Soyjak stem-suffix
Inflix hoyurs (soy hours) st⟨infix⟩em

With inflixes, the conjugation is usually said right after in brackets.

Opposite Posting[edit | edit source]

A common trend in the Party and Booru is to repost a previous comment but with its meaning reversed. For example, 'The gem that saved the party' may be followed up with 'The coal that doomed the sharty'. Sometimes this is continued with related sentences like “The carbon that did nothing to the party” or “The margerald that confused the party”, albeit nobody says the latter.

A rare variation in the funeral and SoundBoard is to keep a next thread but with its nonsense kept. For example, 'The coal that doomed the 4chan' shall not be followed up with 'The gem that saved the 4chan'.

Criticism[edit | edit source]

'jakkers who use soyspeak are commonly slandered by others and as mentally ill Schizos who need to take their Meds and touch the Grass.[It just is, Okay?]

'jakkers are usually mentally retarded and have little to no cognitive function.[It just is, Okay?]

Any 'jakker seen live on the internet has a average iq of around 40 to 60.[It just is, Okay?]

Realistic origins of apostrophisation and acronymisation (theory)[edit | edit source]

the reason that the iconic apostrophisation and acronymisation of soy speak is present in soyspeak is actually due to the filters and limitations by 4cuck's worldfilter, this meant "soyjak" was filtered to "basedjak" and as a result ruining the message. soyposters to bypass this began using apostrophes, for example "soyjak"is now simplified to "'jak" and a result bypassing the "based" and "onions" filter.

another thing was acronymisation, for example "NAS" was also made to bypass the worldfilter becuase it included "soyjak"

eventually, people started using this for other words spiraling into the modern use of apostrophes and acronymisation we see in soy speak today.

Prescriptivism in Soyspeak[edit | edit source]

As ‘jakking has become more and more well established, certain standards of speaking have occasionally been pushed forward as being better than others. For example, some older members of the soymunnity will rail against newer recruits who only drop the first letter or so from words, not the first syllable (like ‘iki instead of ‘ki). The merits of this practice are debatable. So in the end, just like, let people enjoy things, okay? It doesn’t do anything to y-ACCKKKKKK!!!!!

See Also[edit | edit source]

Citations[edit | edit source]